dazed but caffeinated

Sweet people scare me.

In Uncategorized on April 8, 2010 at 6:10 am

There are a lot of adjectives that people would use to describe me..most of them positive, I think, haha.
However, ‘sweet’ isn’t one of them. Neither are soft, cuddly, or girly, or anything else in this general realm that might pop up in your handy thesaurus. (and I KNOW you writerly types have one within arms reach at all times :) I’ve been called gruff, real, outspoken, etc. I also am very protective of those I care about.. I’ll take it, that’s all cool.

You know what? This doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve never put much stock in syrupy sweetness. It makes me a bit uncomfortable, like I’m a part of a hidden camera show where there’s a crew of people filming, waiting to see how I will react to this type of encounter. You know what I’m talking about. The person that has that “valley of the dolls” uber-vapid look on their face.. The ones that say things like, “it’s such a blessing to have blue skies today.” or, oh my..”I’m more in love with my husband every year!” (with a vacant stare)

Really? No…Really?

I don’t believe a single word of it.

I think so many people fall into this kind of attitude? response? coma? because somewhere, someone told them they should. Think of it as the next level of the typical American greeting. Here you go;

greeting ~ “Hi, how are you?”
response ~ “Fine, thanks”

I don’t believe a single word of it. Nope.

There’s just no possible way that everyone is “fine” all the time. It’s not real, it’s just rote memorization, and an avoidance of interaction. Not good, people. Not good at all.. Scary.

[commercial break: I do know a few people that are positive thinkers. They aren't vapid, they are really sharp. I also imagine that they work hard at that positivity. They care about others, and they mean what they say. Maybe they have an extra DNA strand, or somesuch, but they do exist in small numbers. And they get an A for effort. They are excused from the remainder of this blog. :) ]

For the past several years, in a kind of personal experiment, I’ve responded to the above ‘greeting’ with a truthful answer. If the day is hella bad, or the dog just threw up on the carpet, or I feel like I might go postal, that’s what I say. If I have had something wonderful happen, or I’ve just witnessed a random act of kindness, I share that response.
Guess what?
This usually brings about an honest response from the other person too. We share a laugh or a smile, and the whole interaction is way more satisfying than the norm. Couldn’t we all benefit from a little more real interaction with our fellow man? Yes…indeed.

Find out how someone is really doing today. Any random innocuous situation. The grocery store, the gas station. Give it a try. Have a two minute conversation with someone. I dare you. Take off the masks of invisibility. It just might change your life.
It just might prevent humanity declining into a dystopian, apocalyptic society… Maybe…
It’s worth a shot, yes?

By the way, how are YOU doing today?
Really?

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  1. Great – now if your attitude spreads I might actually have to listen to people tell me how they really are? Thanks soooo much. Ever occur to you the reason some of us are happy is because we are NOT counting on honesty when we ask how folks are?
    Your post did make me smile and think happy thought though, because I have a character you’re going to love in the new book. She’s one of THOSE people who are always nice and cuddly and sweet. But you have to wait until the end of the book to see if you’re allowed to hate her – could it all be an act? could she really be that sweet? could she??? Or do we get to hate her outright and in the open?

    • Haha, no..didn’t take it into account that existing in a bubble KEEPS people happy. Just try it, say, once a month.. You never know!

      You know I’m somewhat of a rebel, have to live outside the comfort zone, or die trying. :) )
      Can’t wait to read the new manu. I’m sure it’s awesome!

  2. Nice post. Love the honesty.

    I chuckled when I read this because I’ve been called annoyingly positive. Especially when it’s before the sun rises and I’m giggling.

    Which is kind of often, actually.

    LOL.

    But yeah…the tough days, though they are far and few between in my life, I’ve been known to answer, “Ugh…I’ve seen better days.”

  3. Oh, Lynn – at that Tribe Retreat we’re going to sleep on either side of you know who and drive her stark raving mad! I love singing “Rise and Shine” at the crack of dawn.

  4. OH yeah. I was at a writers conference one and shared a room with, like, six other girls. . . me and my friend kept everyone up late laughing with movie quotes from Elf.

    Sedation might be required! LOL. But I can NOT WAIT for the TRIBE retreat. It’s gonna rock. We should all come up here to SEDONA AZ … talk about inspiration.

  5. I’m FINE!!!!! How are you?? LOL!!

    • Well, today is fair to middling. The weather has slowed down the traffic, but there are worse things than driving with the radio on at full blast. It’s all ok.

      (fine..yeah right, webbweaver)

  6. I really enjoyed your post. Funny…I’m usually a positive, upbeat, glass-half-full kind of person, but honestly….if I’m having a really crappy day and someone asks me how I am, I’ll be honest with them. Not to the point of being crazy about it and launching into a play-by-play tirade, but I will let them know I’m not doing so well. I like it because it lets people know that I need some space, which is important to me :)

    Today…I’m doing great ,though. Aside from frustrations at work, I have a ton of cool ideas floating around in my brain that are screaming to be let out. I hope you’re having a great day, too!

  7. Oh, and I’m an early riser too, so I’ll probably join in with the singing at the crack of dawn….:)) I can’t wait!!

  8. Well, my co-writer tells me I’m a pessimist and I guess it is true. I figure if I expect the worst and get better, then I am ahead of the game. Do I sound like a downer at parties or what? I guess I have just lived long enough that I don’t expect anything from anyone and that includes bubbly enthusiasm. People who are ‘bubbly’ freak me out anyway. BTW…please don’t let Lynn and Kay and Lou get near me at 6am singing “Rise and Shine… I would hate to have to write from a prison cell!

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